Johnny Depp is still pretty much the sexiest man I’ve ever seen, and this movie proves yet another awesome thing about him; he can sing. Our anti-hero, ST arrives in London and immediately sets out for revenge against the man who framed him, stole his woman, and trapped his daughter in a lonely existence many years prior. And since people who steal other people’s womans deserve to have their throats slit with razor-sharp razors, ST’s methods for revenge are practically perfect. I have decided that musicals with strange, creepy songs and little to no dancing are the jam. But none of that even compares to seeing a ton of people getting huge gashes sliced into their necks on camera, complete with blood-spurting action from the jugulars; dropped into the basement through a hole in the floor, and made into meat pies for the citizens of London to enjoy. I love it when that junk happens. This one gets 3.5 flames on the scale, due to the fact that Helena Bonham Carter is weird and freaks me out.

This entry was posted on Tuesday, January 15th, 2008 at 7:21 am and is filed under S.