This must have been a really great movie because I was paying rapt attention the entire time and I still couldn’t figure out what was going on. Seriously, there were about twenty-three or twenty-four different plots in the movie. They kept using this spinny map thing to tell them which plot they were supposed to do next. People were switching alliances left and right, locking each other up in their brigs, escaping from different brigs than the ones they just got locked up in, swirling around in gigantic whirlpools, awakening pagan gods, capsizing entire ships using wind sprints, and of course, blowing stuff sky-high with whatever they could find that exploded. Then Keira Knightly kept making out with people until she had tagged and bagged like everybody in the movie. I’m pretty sure she would have kissed with herself if she could have. They crowned her the Pirate King and everyone lived happily ever after. I think.

This entry was posted on Monday, June 29th, 2009 at 10:56 am and is filed under P.