I went into this with really low expectations after the wide range of opinions I’d been given on it. As a whole, the film doesn’t match up to its predecessor, but it still boasts an impressive set of special effects and some wicked action sequences that display them more than adequately. Shia LeBeouf returns as Sam Witwicky, and Megan Fox returns as his good-looking girlfriend whose role in the film is to run around in slow motion and look hot. She did a pretty good job of it, I thought. I’m pretty much right in the middle on this one, so it gets a 3 on our scale of flames.

Liam Neeson does everything wrong in this movie, but it still feels so right. He manages to exhibit the kind of behavior you’d expect from a villain, yet I can say he’s one of the greatest heroes in any film I’ve seen. It’s one of those characters that, even when he impersonates the chief of police, kills countless scumbags, and tortures people to death, you can’t help but root for the guy.

The fact is he’s doing all this for a noble cause – finding his daughter, who gets kidnapped while on a trip to Europe and sold into the human trafficking underground. This is literally one of the most explosive, fast-paced thrillers I’ve seen, and despite a few moments of less-than-stellar acting (which knocks off a one-half flame from the score), it’s a perfectly magnificent piece of filmmaking.

What a Blockbuster – and one of the only films I’d truly classify using the “B” word. This has changed my entire view of CGI (computer generated imagery) and the magnitude with which it can be used to change the way Hollywood makes films. If you can pause this movie on any single frame and tell what’s computer-animated versus what’s real, I’ll pay you ten bucks. Yes, it’s literally that good. It doesn’t hurt that the cast is full of great actors including both Shia LeBeouf, who has come a long way since Even Stevens, and up-and-coming, drop-dead gorgeous fox Megan Fox. Watch this, it’s near-perfect.

This might have been a case of lowered expectations, but Troy was better than I expected. I’d heard negative things from friends and read reviews by people who didn’t like it. But if Brad Pitt jumped sideways into the air and drove his blade down through your shoulder, piercing your heart and killing you in one blow, you probably wouldn’t like him either. Even if you incorrectly believe this movie to be of poor entertainment value, there’s no mistaking the epic quality of the story and the great acting. It also has some fantastic educational value; I learned a lot about Greek history/mythology, like about how Achilles was a pimp. And other stuff too, I just can’t think of it right now. As war movies go, it was totally fine with me.

I was forced to lower my standards and break the boycott on Paul Walker movies to see this. After 2 Fast 2 Furious, didn’t you at least consider a Walkerban? The movie really had promise from the beginning. From great special effects to the use of time travel, it automatically gets points for including a wormhole as part of the plot. Paradoxical, unproven scientific theory aside, you really have to suspend disbelief to get past Paul Walker’s acting. Even so, you’re watching it and thinking to yourself, “ooh, I wonder what’s going to happen next! This could be really great!” You continue to think that, over and over again. Until the very end when your dreams of a fantastic finish are crushed like a human nervous system under heavy doses of artificial sweetener. Since I refuse to waste any more time reviewing this waste of a movie, I guess you’ll have to see it to find out what happens! Except, don’t.

Maybe I’m behind the curve when it comes to catching up on my “classic movies that came out when you were too young to be allowed to watch R movies” (what can I say, I lived out a sheltered childhood), but despite the less-than-perfect claymation in the final action scene, The Terminator still holds up twenty years later. It’s great seeing Governor Arnold as Evil Robotic From-the-Future Dude, and there is no lack of suggestive male nudity if you’re all about the Schwartz’s… um, schwartz. Among other crotch-pounding moments is the scene when the Governator first enters the biker bar to grab some clothes and a chopper, and completely wrecks things for the unsuspecting dregs of society. If you’ve never seen this, it’s about time to catch up on your Terminator saga. I mean, there’s four of them, for crying out loud.

This was an interesting movie that you’d like if you’re into films that are really messed up, and not in a good way. It’s about a couple of 13-year-old girls who mess around with all the things parents fear the most – drugs, sex, drinking, piercings, tattoos, etc. I thought it was really good until the first scene. I’m giving it extra points for the “teen awareness” factor, and also for making it to the big time even though it’s an indie film. But the definitive raunch-factor means that it can’t make better than a 2 in my book. One point five.