Yet another fantastic addition to the Shrek catalogue. This time, Shrek must raise up a new King for the land of Far Far Away to avoid having to take the throne himself. Comedy doesn’t disappoint here, with the typical Shrek fare that includes the jokes that are only understood by adults, but still with plenty of funny for the kids.

The laughs and zany adventures Shrek and his pals take you on are again complemented by outstanding 3D modeling and animation, which seems to get better and more realistic every time. Tons of entertainment value in a clean format that’s fun for… that’s right, everybody who is an immediate relative of one another.

I absolutely adore this film. Not only do I love Ryan Reynolds, but as you may or may not know, I’m geekzo for heist movies. Add this one to the list of caper films, with plenty of violence and insanity to spare. When several groups of hitmen set out to assassinate the same person – at the same time – things get out of hand very quickly. Action-packed, for realz.

What starts out as a typical romantic comedy begins to collapse about halfway through before finishing out in a cataclysmic fireball of pointless doom. It gets a one-half flame because the combo of Christina Applegate and Selma Blair makes the, er… cinematography… palatable. But it loses 4.5 flames due to a lame plot rife with gross-out humor that is more gross than humorous, slapstick that would do good to consult the Three Stooges for timing and originality points, and the fact that it has Cameron Diaz in it. Skip this, if you have another movie to watch. Just say no. I’m not kidding.

Johnny Depp is still pretty much the sexiest man I’ve ever seen, and this movie proves yet another awesome thing about him; he can sing. Our anti-hero, ST arrives in London and immediately sets out for revenge against the man who framed him, stole his woman, and trapped his daughter in a lonely existence many years prior. And since people who steal other people’s womans deserve to have their throats slit with razor-sharp razors, ST’s methods for revenge are practically perfect. I have decided that musicals with strange, creepy songs and little to no dancing are the jam. But none of that even compares to seeing a ton of people getting huge gashes sliced into their necks on camera, complete with blood-spurting action from the jugulars; dropped into the basement through a hole in the floor, and made into meat pies for the citizens of London to enjoy. I love it when that junk happens. This one gets 3.5 flames on the scale, due to the fact that Helena Bonham Carter is weird and freaks me out.

The classic urban coming-of-age tale about two brothers who sell drugs, kill people, and then tragically lose the mighty empire they have built together. The basic premise of the story is that two horrible actors (Wesley Snipes and Michael Wright) play drug-dealing gangster brothers who become caught up in business deals that lead them down a path to death and destruction. I’ll save you the trouble of watching this movie by telling you that it is incredibly dumb.

Ok, one after the other then eh? The third SAW movie just wasn’t up to par with the first two. The acting in some parts was horrible, and I’m usually not super particular about top-notch acting. The woman who played the doctor was a really bad actress and was like freaking out as if she was going to get cut up or something, even though she had no idea that the villains actually cut people up all the time. The ending was great and there were some fantastic booby-traps as usual, but the whole thing just didn’t meet my expectations. Mainly this was because part of the appeal of these movies is that the bad guy always wins and he’s the kind of guy you just love to hate. Well, in this film the bad guy still kind of ‘won’ but not really. I don’t want to give anything else away. Just see it because it’s a SAW movie and when SAW 4 comes out you’ll be lost unless you’ve watched this one.

Even though I watched this movie a long time ago, I had to review it now because I also just watched the newly-released-to-DVD “Saw III”, and it’s just not right to review the first and third movie of a trilogy without reviewing the second one too. This film, as a matter of fact, was the best of the three for one simple reason, and that reason is that it has the best traps. Cool traps are an essential part of any movie, and in a SAW film they pretty much make or break it. In fact, I think a SAW movie without traps is like a marathon runner without legs: it’s lame. Haha. Lame, get it? Lame? Because without leg’s you’re… nevermind. So anyway, see this movie, because everyone loves great traps and it’ll give you the sweetest ideas on how to make good traps for all your friends.

The final installment of the Star Wars prequels, ROTS has everything you could possibly want in a Star Wars film: awkward dialogue, poor acting, dozens of young children being murdered by lightsaber, and Darth Vader yelling NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! in the cheesiest and most cliche fashion possible. George Lucas did do a good job of explaining how things got to be the way they were in the original 1977 film. Despite its shortcomings, I had to give this flick a 4 on our scale because the action sequences were fwickin cwazy, and stuff killing other stuff with lasers is better than emotion will ever be.

A comedy-horror that was neither funny nor scary. If you like watching
zombies get killed, don’t watch this because not enough zombies get
killed in it. It would have ruled if instead of The Winchester, the local
pub was called The Rocket Launcher so they could have blown away a ton
of stupid zombies. Everyone knows you need at least a 12-gauge to take out
zombies; rifles just won’t do the trick effectively. The other thing that
would have made this movie awesome is if Shaun was like a Ninjitsu Master
instead of a half-retarded British loser with no skills. The ending was
the best part… in fact you can probably skip the entire movie until the last
couple of scenes and save about an hour and fifteen minutes. I gave it a 1.5
because I expected it to be much better than it was.

This was definitely the best movie I have ever seen in my entire life where
someone saws off their own leg. Not many films can boast that kind of raw,
leg-sawing action. The thing that made the entire flick so amazing was the
end, because it totally made my day. It was so sick and twisted that I loved
it. In fact, I was thinking about amputating one of my own limbs with a rusty
chisel since I was so inspired by this film. The next time some high school kid
decapitates himself and leaves a suicide note, they’re going to blame SAW for
influencing him in the wrong way, and that’s just fine with me. Go see this
4 of a movie and you’re guaranteed to go through the rest of your life wishing
you had at least one missing extremity.