I wouldn’t say this is quite as scary as it is… er, creepy. Perhaps one of the creepiest movies I’ve ever seen. Creepier than all eighty-three SAW movies combined, actually. Two FBI agents arrive at the police station of a small town to investigate the events of the past couple of days. You, the viewer, are in for a mildly boring time until the flashbacks start heating up and the story gets exciting. You aren’t sure where it’s going until it gets there. Highly recommended if you like a nice twist.

This action-thriller stars Bruce Willis, Radha Mitchell, and Rosamund Pike in an alternate world where people live their lives from inside the safety of their homes through the use of highly sophisticated androids. These surrogates, after which the film is named, allow people to assume practically any identity they choose. Everyone has perfect skin, a ridiculous body, and super-human strength and speed, although the ability to run fast or jump high is only used when necessary. A couple of well-timed plot twists were enough to keep me surprised, while the relatively quick pace of the storyline and believable special effects had my interest. Most importantly of all, this film makes you think - about identity, about how technology shapes our relationships with other human beings, and about the dangers of using machines as a buffer for real, old-fashioned interpersonal communication. This was well worth the watch.

Kind of a cheese-tacular title for a film, no? Well the film itself was almost as cheesy as the title, but since Ryan Reynolds was the main character I decided to plow through the whole thing anyway. The ending was surprisingly touching or whatever, I guess, but Reynolds didn’t really get to go all out in his usual cocky, sarcastic demeanor. After watching I found out it was a made-for-TV movie before its DVD release, so it rounds out at 2.5 flames due to bonus points for not being completely bollocks, as most MFTV’s are.

Cigar shops smell really good, so this would have been a much better film if I could’ve watched it in smell-o-vision. But since I couldn’t, it was just about average. The stories of several characters’ lives intertwine as they deal with struggles from their pasts. Some fairly intense moments followed by some not-so-great ones made this a mixed bag, but the acting was very good and some big names grace the film including Harvey Keitel, Forrest Whitaker and William Hurt.

One of my top five most pointless and insignificant films of all time. I’ve watched a lot of movies in my life, and I’ve got just a few hundred of them reviewed on this website. But “Safe,” which features Juliann Moore as a crazy weirdo, is one of the worst. Actually I can’t think of very many movies, if any, that are worse than this. So this lady goes insane and thinks that the world is slowly killing her, so she goes to stay at this place in the desert for other insane people who are just like her, and then the movie ends. I was waiting for something to happen that wasn’t totally useless, but then it ended. It was the worst! I’m giving this movie the first ever Incend.net ZERO rating on our scale of 1 to 5.

One of John Cusack’s earliest films, this is the heartwarming story of how an unmotivated loser manages to date a beautiful, popular and intelligent woman for reasons only made possible by the magic of cinema. His friends provide moral support, mostly in the form of teasing him and putting down his efforts. What makes the film most enjoyable (and I don’t doubt one of the reasons it helped to launch Cusack to stardom) is his boyish and charming persona. A great watch if you’re into the whole romantic comedy thing and need something from the 80’s.

I’ve gotta be honest. I mean, I’m always honest, but in this case I’m being super honest. I really didn’t dig this one too much. Even though it stars Alicia Keys, Queen Latifah, and Dakota Fanning, the story was kind of a less than stellar drama about a young girl in the south who runs away from her neglectful and abusive father and serendipitously ends up at the same bee farm where her deceased mother had lived years before. This falls into the category of movies with great acting but a humdrum plot. I gave it a 2, because it wasn’t terrible. Just didn’t really do it for me.

I’ll be the last person to admit I’m a Michael Moore fan; I’ve at most tolerated or mildly enjoyed any of his previous films I’ve watched. Everything posed in Sicko has to be taken with a grain of salt as usual, but even as politically conservative as I tend to be I found there to be several poignant moments that made me think.

If the definition of a successful film is one that makes you think, Sicko does the job well. Even if it doesn’t make you agree that socialized health care is something this country needs or could benefit from, I think if Moore at least causes you to take a second look into how the system is currently structured it fulfills its purpose. Many have been calling for health care reform for a long time now, and it’s true that even though we’re not a third world country, our setup isn’t exactly ideal. That’s an opinion, by the way. If this sounds like a boring picture, I can assure you it’s not. It pertains to all of us; anyone who’s ever gone to the doctor has a reason to watch Sicko.

Yet another fantastic addition to the Shrek catalogue. This time, Shrek must raise up a new King for the land of Far Far Away to avoid having to take the throne himself. Comedy doesn’t disappoint here, with the typical Shrek fare that includes the jokes that are only understood by adults, but still with plenty of funny for the kids.

The laughs and zany adventures Shrek and his pals take you on are again complemented by outstanding 3D modeling and animation, which seems to get better and more realistic every time. Tons of entertainment value in a clean format that’s fun for… that’s right, everybody who is an immediate relative of one another.

I absolutely adore this film. Not only do I love Ryan Reynolds, but as you may or may not know, I’m geekzo for heist movies. Add this one to the list of caper films, with plenty of violence and insanity to spare. When several groups of hitmen set out to assassinate the same person - at the same time - things get out of hand very quickly. Action-packed, for realz.