Again, Al Pacino takes on a completely unique persona in this epic tale of a criminal’s rise to power. He’s good at that - but Carlito still manages to be captivating; the character rises to the level and competes easily with the likes of Tony Montoya and Michael Corleone. This is a classic “things fall apart” tale, just like the others amid Pacino’s body of work, and it manages to be just as convincing and interesting as its counterparts.
A very well put-together film with a storyline that is unique enough to stand out amid the mindless drivel and overdone plot themes that are repeated throughout action dramas. Morgan Freeman is a hitman who finds himself in custody after a vehicle wreck hospitalizes him. Some of his friends attempt to free him and he ends up on the shores of a wilderness stream, only to be found by a backpacking father (John Cusack) and his son. They decide to get involved and escort him back to civilization where he can be apprehended, but first they must overcome the obstacle of having a team of four professionally trained hitmen following them.
So ridiculous and over-the-top, I’m immediately giving this film 4 flames out of 5 because it kept me so entertained. Jason Statham has been poisoned, but for whatever reason (I guess because a movie has to be at least 90 minutes to count as a movie) his adrenaline postpones the effects of this particular poison. As long as he keeps his glands releasing adrenaline, he won’t pass out and go into cardiac arrest. Statham’s character uses a plethora of techniques to keep his heart pumping while he tracks down the bloke who poisoned him to take revenge, including daredevil stunts, having sex in public, and burning himself on purpose.
Whoopi Goldberg was in this movie along with Danny Glover, so you know it had to be a powerful one. Very long but very heartwarming, it follows the story of a girl whose incestuous father basically sells her off to marry an abusive sharecropper in 1930’s Georgia. She has already borne two children by her own father at this point, but he takes them both away from her as soon as they are born. The film’s timeline progresses until she is an old woman and outlines the events that happen in her difficult life.
If you’re looking forward to wasting an afternoon or evening at home, rent this movie. It’s completely worthless, and ranks as one of the dumbest movies I’ve watched in my entire life. I hesitate to give it even half a flame’s rating, but I guess because Cedric T. Entertainer is actually funny in other stuff I’ve seen him in, I’m forced to take pity on this sorry excuse for a film with a 0.5 on the scale.
I’m really, really scared of Sharon Stone. I’d probably rather make out with Freddy Krueger in a dark alley than to even meet Sharon Stone in broad daylight in public. She was already a huge enough psycho in Basic Instinct, but in this movie she’s an insane, cracked out nutcase. The movie itself was great though. Joe Pesci ’s character is crazy too, only in the good kind of way like he was in Goodfellas where he’d just flip out and kill a guy with a ballpoint pen at the drop of a hat, just cause he felt like it. This is an epic ‘rise and fall’ kind of picture, on the level of Blow or Scarface. It’s fantastic, I mean really good, especially if you’re into gangster flicks. A classic four-five on the scale.
On one hand, you have a bunch of actors with horrible Greek and Italian accents. On the other hand there’s Penelope Cruz, whose English is so bad you can basically make yourself believe it’s any accent you want. Christian Bale is the local sweetheart of Ms. Cruz, who becomes war-crazed and obsessive, until Nicholas Cage, the sweet Italian Captain, comes into town and sweeps her off her feet. With the war-time tension and some sweet mandolin playing, you have a hit movie! Just kidding, this movie wasn’t very good. And Penelope Cruz is NOT that fine. 2.5, wham!
I’ve been making a point to catch up on the Johnny Depp catalog lately as he’s becoming one of my favorite sexy, sexy actor-mans. His role in this film as voice talent was quite well done, except he accidentally married a dead chick. That always sucks, much like this film, which although beautifully animated and an original Tim Burton classic, lacked at least three things I usually look for in a film: someone getting killed, non-animated boobies, and lots and lots - and lots - of not singing. Not that I look for the boobies. But pixelated cleavage is definitely not appreciated in my book-o-stuff. And let’s be frank; singing is for aspiring Gospel and Country artists at the local fair - not for movies. If I wanted to watch people singing a bunch of music I’d travel back in time to hear the sweet sounds of Jermaine and Tito Jackson of the Jackson 5. Speaking of five’s, this movie did not get one. It got a 2 and 1/2, which is much less.
If Johnny Depp wasn’t such a bad-ass, I’d think it queer for his character, “Willy Wonka,” to bear such a striking resemblance in manner and in voice to Michael Jackson. Depp is a frigging great actor; my favorite at the moment, in fact. His performances are all but flawless. He does a perfect southern accent in “The Astronaut’s Wife,” a perfect New England accent in “Blow,” a perfect drunken pirate in “…Caribbean,” and the to-a-tee Mr. Howell from Gilligan’s Island in “Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas,” just to name a few. He is one of the best actors out there. People who want to compare this movie to the old version featuring Gene Wilder, you suck; go away. I have not the patience for your incessant babbling. This is a great movie for what it is, and I believe it stays truer to the book (besides the annoying Willy Wonka flashbacks) in many ways more so than the older film. I’m going to have to read the book to check on that. Four, it was pretty awesome.
Tired of the same old action flicks? I’m not being sarcastic here - watch this movie. The pacing and unpredictability make it one of the best action flicks I’ve seen since “Zoonanigans VI: Monkeys in Love.” It was tight yo, and I finally realized while watching it that Jamie Foxx is actually a decent actor. The best part is at the end when Tom Cruise… oops, you’ll have to go see it to find out what I was about to say, you loser.
