Since I can survive for an incredibly long period of time under water in sub-zero temperatures, I don’t consider Max Payne to have gotten a free pass and escaped certain death by doing so in this movie. It also takes me an extremely long time (just over an hour and a half, actually) to figure out that, because everyone who makes trouble in my life has the same tattoo, these people might somehow be linked to one another. If I wasn’t busy being so sarcastic right now, I might have had time to ignore this entire film until the final 10 minutes and still know exactly what was going on. If you’re a fan of the video games this film was based on, you might enjoy seeing Max come to life. Then again, you might be a fan of the video games and still not enjoy the movie, which is what happened to me.