This movie is the biggest waste of life for everyone involved in writing it, filming it, acting in it, watching it, and anything else having to do with it including using the DVD case as a blunt object with which to slowly bludgeon oneself to death after watching it. It really can’t get any worse, folks. The film was two-and-a-half hours long, but if you cut out all the parts where nothing was happening it could have been shortened to fifteen minutes. So Pocahontas falls in love with John Smith, he leaves for England, then she marries John Rolfe and they go back to England. Pocahontas sees John Smith one time and nothing happens, then she dies. The end. There, I just saved you 2.5 hours of your life you can spend doing something more productive, like counting the number of liver spots on your grandma’s arms or shredding lettuce by hand.

I’m really, really scared of Sharon Stone. I’d probably rather make out with Freddy Krueger in a dark alley than to even meet Sharon Stone in broad daylight in public. She was already a huge enough psycho in Basic Instinct, but in this movie she’s an insane, cracked out nutcase. The movie itself was great though. Joe Pesci ’s character is crazy too, only in the good kind of way like he was in Goodfellas where he’d just flip out and kill a guy with a ballpoint pen at the drop of a hat, just cause he felt like it. This is an epic ‘rise and fall’ kind of picture, on the level of Blow or Scarface. It’s fantastic, I mean really good, especially if you’re into gangster flicks. A classic four-five on the scale.